what is love ?

There is a lot of misunderstanding about what the Bible means when it talks about "love".
The New Testament was written in Greek. Ancient Greeks recognized that there are different types of love. As a result there are several words in Greek that we translate today into the single word of love. The two most important are:

Phileo - means to have an affection (sentiment, passion or feeling) for. A fondness based in the heart. What the Greeks meant by Phileo love is what we normally think of the words "brotherly love" meaning today.

Agape - means to choose to seek the best for others. This is a love based in the mind. We can chose to show agape love by actively thinking about, and deciding how we act toward other people. Agape is the word used when the Bible talks about Christian love for one another. Agape love is talking about our behavior towards others, not our feelings.

Phileo love is about feelings. Agape love is about how we act toward others.

The problem we have is that, unlike the Bible, we do not distinguish between these two types of love. We know that we are called to love one another, but we think that means we must like one another and accept everything other people say and do. The Bible talks about agape love, and we think it means phileo love.

A good example is homosexuality. Christians love (agape) homosexuals. What this means is that we want the best for homosexuals. Christians treat homosexuals the same as they treat anyone else -- wanting the best that can be had for everyone. However, that does not mean Christians accept homosexuality as being a good lifestyle. Homosexuality is a sin. God hates sin.